You might be a Hi Tech Redneck


  • If your e-mail address ends in "@over yonder.com."
  • If you connect to the WWW via a "Down Home Page."
  • If the bumper sticker on your pickup truck reads "My other computer is a notebook
  • If your notebook has a sticker on it that says "Protected by Smith and Wesson."
  • If you bring your laptop to all the Tractor Pulls.
  • If your MS-DOS boot menu contains an entry called, "Cow Tipping Configuration."
  • If you only buy from GateWay, 'cause of the purty cow-colored boxes.
  • If yer deer rifle has laser-guided bullets.
  • If you spend too much time browsing "http://www.timvp.com/heehaw.html"
  • If, when you installed a cellular phone, you doubled the value of your pickup truck.
  • If you wear a cap that reads "DEC" instead of "CAT."
  • If your spell checker knows words like "Y'all," "Yonder," and "Reckon."
  • If ya think NORTON UTILITIES is a tool shop.
  • If your desktop is worth more than all your vehicles combined, and is also more powerful.
  • If you've ever used a CD-Rom as a coaster to set your can of beer on.
  • If you have more email addresses than teeth.
  • If you ever worked at a computer in your underwear.
  • If you ever worked at a computer in your wife's underwear.
  • If yer wife said that either she or the computer had to go, an ya still don't miss her.
  • If your PC game collection mainly consists of "Redneck Rampage," "Bass Fishin Tournament," "Race Car     Drivin," and "Deer Huntin."
  • If you're ticked off at yer computer warranty company because it don't cover damage from "Bovine Saliva."
  • If you ever took a laptop to a turkey shoot to impress your friends.
  • If you have 17 different versions of DOOM, but you still can't write your name.
  • If ya order yer new pick-up truck with a gunrack and PCMCIA sockets.
  • If you wire yer network with jumper cables.
  • If your computer toolkit contains a pitch fork.
  • If you've ever doubled the value of yer truck by installing a cellular phone.
  • If you fondly refer to your computer as "Ole Bessy."
  • If yer wife catches ya again with your "Farm Animals of the Orient" CD-ROM.
  • If your belt buckle is made from a dead 3.5" hard drive.
  • If your cars sit in the yard cuz yer garage is full of dead CPUs, printers, modems and monitors.
  • If your screen saver is a bitmap of your favorite cow, tractor or truck.
  • If when in a pinch, ya use yer laptop battery to jump-start the Combine.
  • If ya ever felt ya had to move yer computer desk so it didn't block the velvet pitcher of Elvis.
  • If you begin all your e-mails with "Howdy y'all" or conclude them with "Y'all be good now, hear?"


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