Hickphonics Explained
Southern slang, or "Hickphonics," as a language is to be taught in all Southern schools. Here are excerpts from the Hickphonics/ English dictionary:
AWDUH - (noun). Obedience to the law. Usage: "The Marshal brought law an awduh to the town."
AH - The thing you see with, and the personal pronoun used denoting individuality. "Ah think Ah've got somethin' in mah ah."
AILS - Else. "Warn't nothin', ma'am. Anybody ails would have done the same thing."
ARE - pronoun. Possessive case of we used as a predicate adjective.
ARTHURITIS - A painful illness characterized by stiffening of the joints and paralysis. "Grandma's arthuritis is botherin' her real bad today."
AIG - Which come first, the chicken or the aig?
ARN - Noun. Implement for pressing clothes. Usage: "Clem, you arn them hogwarshers for church or I'm gonna have to git on you!"
ASSIT - (That's it.) Ah (I) don't wanna hear no more 'bout it... Assit as far as Ah'm concerned.
AST - To interrogate or inquire, as when a revenue agent seeks information about illegal moonshine stills. "Don't ast me so many questions. It makes me mad."
ATTAIR - Contraction used to indicate the specific item desire. "Pass me attair gravy, please"
AWFICER - A PO-leece man. "Well, Awficer, Ah guess I might have been goin' a little over the speed limit, but, ...
AWHFULLEST - The worst "That's the most awfullest lie you ever told me in your life."
AWL - An amber fluid used to lubricate engines. "Ah like attair car, but it sure does take a lot of awl."
BABDIST - A religious denomination whose members are found in great profusion throughout the South. They are against drinkin' and dancin', but... "Ah hear the Babdist preacher run off with the choir director."
BAHS - noun. A supervisor. Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"
BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck
BARE - noun. An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
BAWL - What water does at 212 degrees Fahrenheit. "That gal cain't even bawl water without burnin' it."
BEST - Another baffling Southernism that is usually couched in the negative. "You best not speak to Cecil about his car. He just had to spend $300 on it."
BIDNESS (1) - The art of selling something for more than you paid for it
BIDNESS (2)- Your private affairs. "What's in my diary is non of yer bidness."
BLEEVE - Expression of intent or faith. "Ah bleeve we ought to go to church this Sunday."
BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
BOUND TO - Certain to. "Too much beer is bound to give ya a hang- over."
BOY - Any Southern white male under the age of 50, usually preceded by the words "good ole," meaning he is amiable, likes a drink now and then and is fond of fishin', huntin' and good-lookin women. "Clarence is a good ole boy." or "Thet boy aint real braht."
BOUNDEN DETERMINED - Totally comitted to a course of action, not always the wisest. "She's bounden determined to marry him."
BREAK OF - To induce the abandonment of an undesirable trait or habit: 'Ah'm gonna break that dawg of a husband of mine of lyin' to me if it's the last thing Ah do:'
BUD - Small feathered creature that flies. (Or a well know beer)
CENT - Plural of cent. "You paid five dollars for that necktie? Ah wouldn't give fiddy cent for it."
CHUNK - To throw. "Chunk it in there, Leroy. Ole Leroy sure can chunk 'at ball, can't he? Best pitcher we ever had."
CO-COLA - The soft drink that started in Hot-lanta and conquered the world. "Ah hear they even sell Co-cola in Russia."
COLDRANK - Noun. A chilled beverage. Usage: "Becky Sue, you shore is purdy tonight. Less go git us a coldrank down to the fillin' station."
COLE'S LAW - A Southern side dish consisting of thinly shredded cabbage.
CRINE - Weeping.
CYST - To render aid. "Can Ah cyst ya with them packages, ma'am?"
DAINTS - A more or less formal event in which members of the opposite sex hold each other and move rhythmically to the south of music.
DAYUM - A cuss word Rhett Butler used in "Gone With the Wind." "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a dayum."
DEPPITY - A county law enforcement Awficer: "Jim Bob's a deppity sheruf."
DOC (1) - A condition caused by the absence of light. Usage: "it shore is doc outside when the sun sits."
DOC (2) Formal name for the local proctologist.
DID - adjective. Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."
EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA). Usage: "He cain't breathe ... give 'im some ear!"
EARL - A petrol product.
EVERTHANG - All-encompassing.
EVERWHICHAWAYS - To be scattered in all directions. "You should have been there when the train hit attair chicken truck. Them chickens flew everwhichaways."
FAR - noun. A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the awl in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."
FARN - adjective. Not local. Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."
FLARES - The colorful, sweet-smelling part of a plant. "If yer wife's mad at ya, it's smart to take her some flares."
FOLLER - Spies and private detectives spend a lot of time doing this.
FUR (1) - Measure of distance. "It's a fur piece ta Hot-lanta."
FUR (2) - Because of or to indicate possession. "Fur yew ta get attair new car ya gotta go see Bubba bout a loan."
GIT - To acquire. Or to run someone off yer propperty with a gun. Usage: "GIT! Head on out now, Y'hear?"
GOOD OLE BOY - Any Southern male between age 16 and 60 who has an amiable disposition
and is fond
of boon companions, strong drink, hound dawgs, fishin', huntin', and good lookin'
women, but not necessarily
in that order. "Bubba's a good ole boy."
GULL - A young female. Usage: "Becky Sue shore is a purdy gull."
GOFF - A game played with clubs and a little white ball.
GRIYUTS - What no Southern breakfast would be without - grits. "Ah like griyuts with butter and sawt own em, but Ah purely love'em with red-eye gravy."
GUVMIT - Noun. A bureaucratic institution. Usage: "Them guvmit boys shore are ignert."
HALE - Where General Sherman is going for what he did to Hot-lanta. "General Sherman said "War is Hale" and he made shore it was."
HAZE - a contraction. Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert."
HEAVY DEW - phrase. A request for action. Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?"
HEIDI - noun. Greeting.
HEP - To aid or benefit. "Ah can't hep it if Ah'm still in love with you."
HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi. Hire yew."
HOD - adverb. Not easy. Usage: "A broken hot is hod to fix."
HOSS - A large solid hoofed vorous animal.
HOT - noun. A blood-pumping organ.
IN A WAD - Upset. Tangled up or tied up as in knots. "Calm down, Bubba. Ain't no need to git yer wrangler's in a wad."
IDINIT - Term employed by genteel Southerners to avoid saying Ain't. "Mighty hot today, idinit?"
JAWJUH - noun. A state just north of Florida. Capital is Hot-lanta. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."
JEW HERE - Noun and verb contraction. Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"
JUICY - A question. "Hey, Bubba! did juicy that big ole fish jump over yonder?"
KLECT - To receive money: "Ah don't think you'll ever klect own that bill."
KUMPNY - Guests. "Be home on time. We's havin' kumpny for supper."
LACK To be fond of (I lack my new truck)
LAW - Police, or as we Southerners pronounce it, PO-leece. "We better git outta here. That bartender's done called the law."
LEKSHUN - A political contest: "Who you think's a gonna win the lekshun?
LIKKER - Whiskey; either the amber kind bought in stores or the homemade white kind that federal authorities frown upon. "Does he drink? Listen, he spills more likker than most people drink."
LECTRICITY - Energy for irons, TVs, and other things.
LIEBERRY - A building containing thousands of literary works.
LOT - adjective. Luminescent. Usage: "I dream of Jeanie in the lot-brown hair."
MASH - To press, as in the case of an elevator button. "Want me to mash yer floor for you, Ma'am?"
MOANIN - Between daybreak and noon.
MUNTS - noun. A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."
MUCHABLIGE - Thank you. "Muchablige for the lift, Mister."
NAWTHUN - Anything that is NOT Southern. "He is a classic product of the superior
Nawthun
educational system." (sarcasm)
NEKKID - To be unclothed.
OUGHTA - Ya may hear a Southerner say "Oughta!" to a dog or child. This is short for "Y'all oughta not do that!" and is the equivalent of saying "No!"
OVAIR - In that direction, Same as Yonder. 'Where's yer paw, son?" "He's ovair, suh."
PHRAISIN - Very cold. "Shut that there door. It's phraisin in here."
PITCHER - An image, either drawn or photographed.
PLUM - Completely. "Ah'm plum wore out."
PURDY - Adj. Lovely.
PUTCHEE - (or Putcha) Verb. Usage: When younguns want to leave their plates on the table, tell 'em "Putchee plates in the sink."
RANCH - noun. A tool. Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup
truck my brother from
Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."
RETARD - Verb. To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."
RETCH - To grasp fer. "The right feilder retch over into the stands and caught the ball."
SAAR - The opposite of sweet. "These pickles Sure are saar."
SEED - verb, past tense. Usage: "Bubba seed are bard pick-up."
SHEVELAY - A GM car. "Nobody could drive a Shevelay like Junior Johnson."
SINNER - Exact middle of. "Have you been Ovair to the new shoppin' sinner?"
STOW - Place where things are sold.
SQUARSH - noun. A vegetable (also verb - to flatten). Usage: "Warsh that squarsh, Bubba ... you don't know where its been!"
SUGAR - A kiss. "Commeer and gimme some sugar, darlin."
TAR ARNS - A tool employed in changing wheels. "Ya cain't change a tar without a tar arn."
TARRED - adverb. Exhausted. Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."
THANK (1)- verb. Ability to cognitively process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."
THANK (2) A mental activity. (Ah thank I'll e-mail Bubba)
THODE - Verb. Past tense of throw. "I thode the ball to Jim-Bob, he missed and it hit im in da head!"
TIRE - noun. A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
WARSH - verb. To clean.
WHUP - To beat or to strike. "HOOOEEE!!! Yer mama's gonna whup you fer sayin' a cuss word."
YANKEE SHOT - A Southern child's navel. "Momma, what's this on mah belly?" "That's yer Yankee Shot."
ZACKLY - Precisely.
ZAT - Is that. "Zat yer dawg, Mister?"